Thursday, December 27, 2007

My Father (1924 - 2007)

If there was anyone I knew who had a most difficult life, it was my father. Born in India in 1924, he spent most of his life in boarding schools as both his parents passed away when he was very young. After a short stint in the Royal Air Force and Indian Air Force, he married my mother and soon immigrated to England and, after "picking up" my sister and I, moved to Canada.

Today, he passed away.

I often wondered what my biggest regret would be upon my father's demise and I decided that this one regret would be that we never bonded like a father and son should have. Since then, I have become very aware of my own son's and my relationship and have strived hard to ensure that our relationship remains intact.

Fortunately, I can say that this regret regarding my father, though it is still there, isn't as large a regret as it could have become. In the latter years of our father and son relationship, we found a way to respect each other and, over time, learned to find a way to somehow get along and show love for each other

On Monday, New Year's Eve, I will stand by my father's grave site and know that I did my best to repair a once broken relationship. I will miss my father for he was a good father. I am also proud of him and will always think highly of him.

My father was a good man, a good provider and loved and appreciated by many people. He will be sadly missed by those who love him. He will always be loved and missed by me.

48 comments:

Kerri said...

Oh Dave, I am So Sorry! You have my deepest sympathies!

abbagirl74 said...

Dearest Dave,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I am thinking of you and your family. We will be here for you.

Bakhrian said...

Dear Dave...

Even i dont know you alot... i am so sorry for what happened to you..

Please be patient... cause anyone has their own destiny...

And i do believe... a good person will get good place in heaven...

alicesg said...

Hi Dave, I am sorry for your loss. I am sure your father love you as much as you love him too. Take care.

Hammer said...

You have my condolences on the passing of your father. The generational gap is a tough one to breach. He sounds like a great guy.

wordtryst said...

Just saw you on Lane's blog and popped over.

I'd like to extend condolences on your loss, Dave. Interestingly, I mentioned on another blog that I did not carry out my resolution to call my father for Christmas. This post reminded me that I should mend some bridges while I still have the chance.

Greeneyes said...

I am so sorry for your loss , I was shocked when I opened your page and started reading , You must be heartsick . What a sweet post you did for him , and touching . It is wonderful that you repaired some of your life with him ,many people find it hard to relate to ones child or parent this does not mean they love one another any less , what is in ones heart may not reach one's lips in life but it still resides there . Stand tall knowing you did your best and take some comfort in that.

My prayers are with you and yours .

take care
greeneyes

Lilli & Nevada said...

Dave,
My deepest sympathy.

Oswegan said...

I am really sorry to hear about this Dave. My condolences to your family.

Regarding father and son relationships, you now have the power to change a family tree. Do it.

~Oswegan

Akelamalu said...

I am so sorry to read this. You have my deepest condolences.

Reiki light on its way to your Father to ease his passing and to you to ease your pain. x

geewits said...

That was a very sweet tribute. I'm glad you were able to meet each other halfway as you got older. As long as you talk about your Dad and your children talk about your Dad, he will live forever.

simonsays said...

I am so very sorry for your loss, and very happy that you could come to some kind of closeness these past few years. I do understand what you mean...It was the same with my own dad, and I was able to connect with him on some level before he passed in 2005.

I will be thinking of you...

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Dave, I am so sorry for you loss. May God give you the strength you need over these next few days.

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Dave. Please accept my deepest condolences. I hold you in my thoughts and send you strength at this sad time. Go gently and know that death is but a doorway and that those we love are always with us and part of us.

quintarantino said...

Dave,

I truly and deeply regret what just happened to you and your family.
Even if we don´t know one another, please belive me whem I say I'm so sorry for your loss.
And your father looks like he was a kind man.

heiresschild said...

Dave, i was shocked also when i came to your blog just now. i am so sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. you and your family have my condolences and my prayers. i'm sure he would have been proud of the words you typed here. i pray God's continued peace and strength for you and your family.

beachgirl said...

I am so sorry Dave,
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
Carol

Neva said...

I am so sorry for your loss....it is very hard to lose a parent no matter what age you or they are.....I still miss my dad after 10 years. My prayers will be with you on New Years Eve.

Cheryl said...

My sympathies to you and your family Dave. You were there for your father and he knew how much you cared. He'll always be with you.

Phelan said...

Dave, My condolences. I realize there is nothing that I can say to help at a time like this. I lost my father in July, and even though our relationship had strained over the years, and I was his care takers in the last year of his life (causing some emotional issues itself) it was hard losing him.

I really just wanted to say that a complete stranger in Kansas holds you in her thoughts today.

~abbagirl sent me~

Mama Keith said...

Hi Dave,
I got the news from Heiresschild's blog. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Josie said...

Oh, Dave, my condolences. You know, both my brothers had a bit of a strained relationship with our Dad as well, but you know the love is always there. The healing will be in your own relatinship with your son.

All the best, Dave.

Josie

Sandy said...

Dave, so sorry to read this. I'm glad you did have time though to get to a point in your relationship that was closer. What a handsome guy he was. I was devastated when I lost my dad in 2003.

sandy

Rowdy said...

Dear Dave,
That was really touching. My heartfelt condolences. Just take solace that he has gone to God and will be watching you from there

Janice Thomson said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers Dave as you wade through these next few weeks. Take care.

LeenaM said...

My commiseration for your sorrow.
I send my warm thoughts to you.

David Kim said...

My sincerest condolences to you and your family for this great loss. It sounds like he was a great father and a great man.

KOSTAS said...

My condolences, for the sudden loss of your father. Be always healthy and him you remember.
Makes courage, the better doctor is the time, says in my country.
We pray for his soul rests en peace.

Isadora said...

Hello Dave: Sorry about your loss especially during the holiday (not that there is ever a good time to lose a parent).

It sounds as though you've spent time and effort on your relationship with him and even more on your own and your son's. That effort will always pay dividends. You didn't say if your Mom is still alive, but I hope you do have family around you for support through this. God bless.

Sienna said...

Condolences to you and all your family Dave; that is a beautiful tribute to your Dad.

Our Dad died (similar time last year), and I really identify with your words on just doing the best you can in regard to your relationship with him. There is a lot of peace of mind from that you know...some of my siblings didn't take the path of that thought and action and I see them struggle with the lack of resolution of that part of their life.

My warmest wishes to you, peace and strength for Monday....sometimes ...as humans we can only do the best we can.

Sometimes, that is enough.

Pam

Wanda said...

Dave, you are in my thoughts and prayers. So sorry for your loss, but your post and narative is a wonderful tribute to your father.
Blessings on you dear friend.

Lynn said...

My deepest sympathies on your loss. A Parent/child relationship is so complex that sometimes it can take a lifetime to truly understand. I hope that you find peace and comfort during this difficult time.

Shelby said...

You have my deepest sympathies too..

Mike said...

Dave, I am really sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts.

Monika said...

Dave, my sincere sympathy for your fathers loss! What a way to end a year. Take care,
Monika

Andrea said...

I am so sorry about your father's death. May he live on in your heart through the memories you grew fond of.

jAMiE said...

Dave...
I am new here, found your blog through Cheryl's blog...i'm so sorry to hear about your father, my heartfelt condolences.

Gena said...

Dave, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I lost my Daddy 6 years ago and I still miss him to this day. We were very close and I've always wanted to have that kind of relationship with my children.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Colette Amelia said...

How come the people we should be closest to sometimes are the ones we struggle to understand and them understand us?

Pity. But so lucky that you had time to find a way to have a relationship even if it was less than you would have liked.

blessings

CS said...

Oh my. I am so very sorry, Dave. What a blessing that you found a way to have some some of reconciliation. I will be holding you in my thoughts tomorrow and during the grief to come.

Oswegan said...

Happy New Year!

~Oswegan

Jules said...

So sorry Dave to read about your Dad. This is something we all have to face and no matter when it happens we can never be truly prepared for it.

Your dad would have been very touched by your words and by all these wonderful comments.

Take care - I hope all the thoughts of your blogging friends will you and your family through this difficult time.

dawn said...

i stopped by here from cheryl's blog and i am so sad to read of your dad's passing. the love & respect that you have for him is the end result of what i strive for in the dailies as a parent. he obviously did a wonderful job as a father.

i hope each day lessens your sense of loss and fills you with his light and legacy.

Gudl said...

I am sorry, too.
You sound like you were a good son to him.
I lost my Dad two years ago and I can relate.

SOUL: said...

i'm sorry too dave.
really. i lost my dad too.
take care

Mother of Invention said...

I am so sorry for your loss but happy he no lomger suffers. Maybe out of this comes the biggest lesson in life given to you from your dad as his last gift; to become closer to your own son/children.....and it sounds like you have already received and understood his gift.

monsoon-dreams said...

very touching post, dave.i feel sad, like he is a relative of mine,may be because he was born in my country,may be because you are a blogger i admire.

翁惠君 said...

情趣用品 情趣用品 雪花冰刨冰機 保健商品 賀寶芙 賀寶芙 景觀設計 賀寶芙 賀寶芙 賀寶芙 腳踏開關 巴士出租 汽車貸款 高雄住宿 園藝造景 徵信社 高雄當舖 小琉球民宿 保健商品 高雄酒店小姐經紀 高雄酒店小姐經紀 LED燈管 房屋貸款 信用貸款 情趣用品 凱擘第四台 八字算命 健康養生保健 繡眉 新娘秘書 豐年駕訓班 台北WISH計程車觀光車隊 飄眉繡眉 網頁設計 房屋貸款 養生保健 網頁設計 台南搬家 期股雙贏 米堡專賣 聚寶盆網頁設計 台北室內設計 期股雙贏 台北WISH計程車觀光車隊 期股雙贏 台北WISH計程車觀光車隊 台北市第四台 台北市有線電視 性功能障礙 中翻英