Thursday, March 15, 2007

What Would Aliens Think?

I wonder what an alien would think of if he or she spied on earth from orbit only to observe man scooping up poop immediately after a dog took his daily dump on a lawn? I think it safe to say that the alien would wonder who the smart species on this planet really was!

Well, today was the day that I carried out my annual winter poop scooping session. As some of you may already know, my dog is a low bellied dog as are most dashhounds and basset hounds. Now, traveling through deep snow presents obvious problems for my dog and therefore, during the winter months, she elects to carry out her doggy dumps on our deck six feet beyond our back door. Now due to the ice and snow, the poop becomes fairly difficult to scoop up and dispose of and therefore tends to be left there until winter thaw.

And thus my task of this past day!

For two hours this morning, I scraped and scooped my way to a clean deck and a spotless sidewalk. With head phones pressed into my ears, I scooped to music such as Queen’s Another One Bites the Dust and AC/DC’s Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.

You know… with all those smart dog trainers in the world there comes smart dogs. What I cannot figure out however, is why can’t someone simply train dogs to do their dumps in a dog toilet or something? Or what about training them to do their own poop scooping? Wishful thinking I suppose.

So, now that the deck is clean and the sidewalk spotless, maybe I can carry out some other task that would amuse the orbiting aliens… Anyone up for a suggestion?

12 comments:

Hammer said...

I have a mini dachshund and a poodle/chihuahua and their poop just dries up and blows away.

It would be hell if tevery dump they took was cryogenically preserved on my deck.

Great poop scoopin music by the way :)

Monika said...

I'm still laughing! You know I have two large dogs! Double the pleasure and three days poop scooping for me so far, layer after layer! Every spring I tell myself to brave the winter storm and scoop right away! ;o)

Cheryl said...

What a yucky job. I'm assuming the 'stuff' was thawed?

My cousin told me that her father carries a plastic bag with a few rocks in it so it looks like he's being responsible and picking up after his dog. What would an alien think of that??

Janice Thomson said...

LOL!...ah the joys of having pets...the vet asked why didn't I just flush my dog's, erhem, gifts down the good old toilet?...though he is a small dog and there's not much I just can't quite see myself doing this LOL...fortunately we don't get much snow so I can just carry on with daily scooping.

abbagirl74 said...

I don't own any pets. Being a pooper scooper is one of the reasons why. I just couldn't do it. I guess it would be the same as changing diapers on a baby for some, but ugh.

What would aliens think about all of the joggers in the world. They are probably asking themselves, where are they going?

Proxima said...

Now, Wash your hands and go see a good movie, and don't forget the popcorn.

(note: "Good" is a term relative to the viewer)

-P

Em said...

That photo is great! And yes, I suppose we do look like the lesser species since we clean up their poop while they proudly walk away. And the winter cleanup still is before me...since we are getting almost a foot of snow again today. Maybe in a couple of weeks.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Very funny. lol. If the aliens came and asked you to take them to your leader, what would you do?

Sienna said...

Ha! Being from Australia (and a part of it that the sun always shines), I had never, ever, given thought to logistical problems faced by low belly dogs when nature calls...

Say, how about four little height enhanced boots you could slip on her, giving snow clearance and freedom to pass whatever wherever.

We have a good location to send our dogs (can be 19 at occasional times) where they can empty out. Call it "Poop Hill"...start training them from puppies, walk them over (about 100m from kennel area) and get them do the lot at the Hill, then every so often bring over the front end loader and bury the lot and start afresh. (The poop I mean, not the dogs).

My neighbor is fascinated by it all, one night he was in the Pub telling his friends what I make the dogs do!..."and sometimes they have go even if they don't feel like going"...I think he meant he had observed some of the dogs took a little while to work up the desire to download...

Dave, you are funny! Now, more importantly, have you drank that beautiful looking wine yet?

Pam

CSL said...

Good music choices for the job! I'm tankful it's not a job I have to deal with, though.

abbagirl74 said...

Looks like we have both been busy. Post soon. I miss you!

HeiressChild said...

this was hilarious!