Sunday, December 17, 2006

My Parents & I

My parents have been married for 56 years and they are still together. As with most relationships, they have been through good times and bad and yet, somehow, they have managed to get through it all. They have lived in four different countries and have never returned to any of them after they emigrated.

For the most part, my mom was a stay-at-home mom while my father worked in a job he hated. It wasn’t until I became older that I fully appreciated how my father went to work every day because it was his responsibility to provide for his family. I didn’t get along with my father throughout my formative years and as a result, I never really had much to do with him throughout my life until recently. As a result, my mother was affected in that, she hardly saw me either.

Over the years, I often figured that when my father dies, my grief will lie in that I never really bonded with him like a son should. I often envied some of my friends’ relationships with their dads. To me, my mother was a saint! What more can I say? I know that some of her idiosyncrasies drove me crazy at times but that wasn’t her problem… it was mine. She was my mom and that’s all that really mattered.

Recently, my father became ill and my mother frail and I, as their son, picked up the slack of their everyday living. It is tough at times but I do it because it is my responsibility as a son and besides, it has given me the opportunity to spend much more time with them. This is a good thing because I know that if they passed on in life without me being in their lives, I would have eternal regrets later on.

One day down the road, I will visit their graves and know that I didn’t lose them after all and that I got to know them all over again before it was too late. It is my lifelong goal to stay close to my children and them close to me. What kind of father would I be if I let what happened to my father and I happen to my children and I?

The moral here is … Never let the relationship with your parents or children get away from you because I have no doubt that when they die or when you die, someone is going to grieve and have regrets for the rest of their life.


Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Very thoughtful and thought-provoking. I am in a similar position of taking care of my parents. The main thought that came to me as I read your post is that we seldom, if at all, focus or think about death. Yet when we think of death, then only can we avoid regrets in life.

Dave said...

How true Lone Grey Squirrel! How often we shy away from thinking about death because of the feelings it brings up and yet it is those thoughts that sometimes makes us realize the imprtance of living correctly.

abbagirl74 said...

Wow, this was so touching. I feel the same as you. I spend as much time as I can with my folks. If they were to pass, I would have some regrets, but I think everyone would, as we are only human and not perfect.

Dave said...

I agree with you abbagirl. No matter what our relationship is with our folks, there will always be regrets after they pass away. What is important is that we take the time to love before that... That's the best we can do.

Shannon said...


Great post and very heart warming!