Saturday, January 06, 2007

Nothing Goes As Expected!

Oh man!!! You are not going to believe this! On second thought, you probably are ... No you’re not … yes you will… Okay let’s just get it over with! About 2 hours ago, I retrieved the newspaper from my car so I could complete this blog which I posted yesterday… You know what’s coming next right? Well, I opened it up only to realize that I stole the wrong friggen page! Now not only have I broken the commandment not to steal but now I think I have broken the swearing one as well! (Sorry Josie!) And I broke it real friggen good! #2!%7^*#$!!! (You get the idea!)

Now I was not going to let this get the better of me. I could have been dishonest with all of you and simply pulled out another article and claimed it to be the one I was talking about yesterday but I could not do that to my blogging friends… that would just be way too dishonest! I am sure that there must be a code of honesty between all of us. Besides, I really liked the article and I would be “darned” if I let it get the better of me.

And so off to Arby’s I went to commit yet another crime … Conspiracy to Commit Crime and Theft at the same time. Now, I walk in there and, for the first time in a millennium, there is no newspaper on the counter… I am not impressed. I casually walk around the restaurant scoping out the newspapers. I feel the beady eyes of this male cashier on the back of my scull… I ignore him and continue to look for that ruddy page. I finally track it down … The only patron in the place had it in his greasy mitts… This was going to be a long day.

I go up to the counter to “Mr. Beady Eye Man” and buy a drink and a fry. Upon retrieving my food and drink which I never really wanted in the first place, I sit down within eyesight of “Mr. Greasy Mitts Man” ready to pounce once he vacates the premises. I was no sooner munching into my fries when the patron in question, gets up to depart. I watch him… I watch him put his coat on… I watch him pick up his tray… I watch him pick up the newspaper… I watch him as he throws his wrappers and cup into the trash can … I watch him as he throws the newspaper in right after the garbage!!!

Well, once more, I was not impressed! @!#$%^&#!!!!!

Upon the realization that the newspaper was all but gone, I considered other options regarding my blog. Now I did consider retrieving the newspaper out of the garbage but hell had not frozen over yet and besides, I am sure that Mr. “Beady Eyes Man” would have called the police on me!

To make a long story short, because I was hell-bent on retrieving this confounded article, I purchased another copy from the local newspaper office … about 11 kilometres away! What I will do for my friends!

… Okay, I have gone way beyond my self imposed 1300 character blog limit and I have yet to talk about the article. I am actually afraid that I will lose readership over this. My faith, however, is in my blogging friends’ tolerance and patience. I promise…. I promise… I will come through with this now three day old news article … Tomorrow; I will have it for you… Please be patient with me.



abbagirl74 said...

This better be one hell of an article. I don't mind extra long posts. Could you not have put it on today? Can you tell I am impatient?

Dave said...

Sorry abbagirl!... I am now starting to feel guilty. :-( I ran out of time but I will get it posted ASAP

Becky Wolfe said...

thanks - I needed such a good laugh after a long ugly day of driving on snowy highways!! I guess I'm not really laughing WITH you am I?! ok, waiting with baited breath for it tomorrow!

Le Nightowl said...

Suspense is worst than disappointment.
- Robert Burns

... à demain, then :)

Wendz said...

You self-impose a blog length limit?

Maybe I should do that - have had some comments about my long posts...pffft!

Anyway - I am dying to read the article - it better be worth the delay...;)

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Dave, Dave,
I am ready for day 3. I will be wearing a face shield. Enjoying the post and the suspense ou have built up with everyone. You are a good writer.